For when things get adherent.

ive decided ive not written a blog in a while, and shite getting on my tits again, soo......



right i`d just like to say first of all,

"Bro`s before hoe`s"

ken i miss you man, we were best pals and now i had alot of shit to deal with and you wernt there for me as much because you moved away by choice, I know it was maybe best for you but like relationships dont last forever, its a harsh reality and your like family to me. And tbh i feel kind of disgarded. I cant even see you on your own without your other half? its quite baws like.



ive had this conversation alot of times with different people all who i trust.
and like its clearly obvious that i miss you.
We get on just as good as we used to even now.

And you... yes i was harsh but it needed done, im sick of how controling you are.
Why wont you let me have time with him? why do you always need to impose.
fuck sake you see him enough.
i know i was too hard about what i said...still i dont feel bad you bitch about folk and now we`ve done it SCANDLE? i dont think so love deal with it.
pfffft so aye to recap.

"Bros before hoes"

Say Goodnight.

Ken recently i though things couldnt get much worse... but ken spoke to soon likes ae?
found out some additional information about the Relentless tour which pisses me off to no end.
better hope i never see that guy btw. But aye i dont think you realise it did really bother me and i ken it didnt mean anythings crap, because you never spoke he pulled your arm ect. yet you changed phone numbers ? but nah you obv werni texting him or that.

Skool... well where to start my attendence is awful im failing everything and its parents night soon, reports are coming out and im probs getting suspended for getting "cought" smoking again, my dads gonni batter me. I just want to leave like i dont want to do anything anymore. ive just given up like on just about everything, whats the point anymore ? so aye i plan to continue doing what i am the now , with abit more booze though. Im shattered and hungry but i cba going and getting something , i guess it`ll go away soon if i ignore. i thought i was going to faint in chemistry pfft total eyes blured out and shit was freaky. Managed to copy out that unit i missed yuss only two periods tae ;D score.

thats about all had a good wee winge now... catch yee

how we operate

well ive been think alot recently..... My life has if anything has less direction now that ever, im not even sure if ive to go to college now =/. Also everyday just seems like a mission to get to the end of im just trying to scrape by untill i can get something good the problem is i dont know what. It gets you down like and i know im not the only one going through this shit.

so aye last night- Kerrang Relentless tour.

Well left skool got changed walked back up (52 mins baybeeee) aha i was rather chuffed, so aye me Hadi,Alex and Matt got a lift uptoon of Hadi`s maw blah blah town+ drink+ train= Glasgow, got steaming headed to the gig, Matt Smack Steven and me where ready to jump someone for my ticket but luckily some guy sold me his....waited in the que matt almost got lifted AGAIN fucking kids these days btw aha.

Aye so me an smack hit the pub for a tad to wait for the que to go down.... gid idea ae?
awww naw , got to the door to be told we`re too drunk to get in? despite the fact i wasnt that bad and i seen them letting a lassie in that could barely walk aye? Then if that wasnt annoying enough nicole tried to get ryan and i in twice... first time she was told that we`d been taking drugs and had been tested haha then that we had fake tickets and i had two i used matts one haha so aye smackmanee and Matt got turned away too. so ken we did what any other moron in that situationwe hassled the security for a cheeky wee 5 hours or soemthing, actually to be fair i think i enjoyed pissing off the security and runing from the police abit more than i would have the gig , the bands where all shitty anyway. I did feel rather terrible afterwards though the alcohol had worn off ages ago i hadnt eaten since the day before and the fags made me feel worse. awck well how gies a shit i still had a laugh.

aye so i dont even know what kind of mood im in. its just kind of like there aye. i wish i could do something to take my mind off it, i want to go for a skate actually its been ages but its too cold and i miss the park. i wish i could have seen hannah tonight like but ken again nothing really goes to plan does it ?

thats about all thats going on atm..
catch ye. and oh yeahh Corals a total babe ;D haha

I Was Made For Lovin` You Babyyy (8)

i quite fancy kiss btw =) they`re gid likes
well todays festivities......
Skool (kinda)
got drunk ;D
met hannah at ami`s mums haha shes a babe and Wee dani came too = )
i spent ages in the bathroom feeling total seeeeek, still never whited (ami cheered for me cheeky bitch haha)
got to see hannah the night was well gid, Ive not seen her in like a week.
i cant help but feel a tad annoyed though , she feels bad about something some i couldnt really care less about and it still bothers her, i just wish she wouldnt care either. she should really chillaxe mare likes.

well plans for tomorrow include hardly any skool... AGAIN seeing as ive been dropped from maths paha although i was kinda begging for it and then like finish my wine XD aha should be good.

also tbh it feels like my self esteems hit rock bottom =S
idk why i dont care anymore though.
soo aye catch likes......

jeeeez ohhhhh

Well where to start.......i dont like the way things are atm just everything seems shite to me.
i honestly couldnt care about anything these days, there is one thing but im not going into that now. I just want things to back to the way they were ken ? when i wasnt an arsehole. i can honestly say the way i feel like not a sole would miss me if i died.. pritty emo likes aha im weird.

im not going to dwell on this insted im going to do something to change the way i am atm , i dont know what but i need to do something rather drastic at that. Why am i suddenly super self concious again ? oi just managed to get past that awkward stage and i realised i was even worried about what i was eating the other day.... i mean wtf that isnt me is it?

Fuck it ae ... i mean who gies a shit. i think im just going to do whatever i feel like regardless of peoples feelings. because im in a constant state in self pitty and its stupid. i think the relentless tour will help, i really want to go an go in some pitts. i managed to save money insted of eating so ive like £9 or something haha im like pritty much there.

idk it was more mindless shite im talking on this blog... still geez some thoughts or that?

jake jake jakeyyyyy

ive decided im going to keep growing my hair and see what happens... i like long hair i can hide my face with it aha.

i wish i was better at chemisty........

im considering going to the renlentless tour, i would but i dont think i`ll be able to get 15 quid anytime soon =/ pritty shit but im used to i wasnt i was never exspencing to tbh.

ive not much to say tonight tbh =/ im a moron.
i hope i get my fone topped up soon.

catch

Alone , with nothing but your thoughts

I`d quite like it sometime if i could spend a weekend myself in somewhere like alaska. I like spending time alone to think about things you know get away form stress an such also its then in which you come out with your most philosophical thoughs and have have time to really think about important thinks you dont usually have time to because of busy routines. Perhaps i could even wirte a book or a journal type thing, not even to sell but to keep for the sentimental value.

It would be pritty amazing to try and live off the land with hardly anything. It would truely be a test of character and help you find yourself... well so to speak, all these thoughs bung up in your head you know ? and you never have anywhere to present it in text. In my mind it would make more sense spending a few weeks to possibly change my entire outlook on life, but in my mind im not sure if i could cope. Still i think it would be good to have no direction or thought about where to go just you and yourself to accompany you on a journey of self discovery.

Tonight- Was amazing , little dry during the day but not to bad in general i suppose. I went to hannahs tonight and i dont know how she does it... she can put me in a better mood than anyone, it doesnt matter to me what were doing aslong as im with her its fine by me. I love the nights like these where we put on a film dont watch it and just lie with each other. I do look foreward to them. Tonight you also gave me a couple of wee texts before i got home, they made me feel special ken? i dont get that alot but it really did put a smile on my face. I love you.

but aye peace out.....